Happy birthday they said. Thank you said I.
It’s my 45th today.
The cake is cut at midnight. The family video calls. Maybe it was the distance or the closeness. I said thank you to my parents and my sister for tolerating me all these years. For the first time, I felt grateful for their being vested in me all these years. My mom recalled how my sister would never hit me. mar doongi. She would say. Full show. But worrying about how it would land if she went ahead! It took me more than half of my life to see how that bracing back her anger- 3 years separating her from me – shaped her then. How her brace shaped me and my nothing can happen to me attitude.
My life has been about me, mostly. There has been space for an “and” at best. Person and me. Experience and me. Purpose and me.
Or is it experience for me. Purpose for me. The and becomes the for. And in the process, Me becomes the never growing up baby, that needs to be always fed and taken care of!
So today, I wish myself a happy birthday. Wish myself less self absorption. More grace. Less mirrors on my walls. More space in my room.
Time for the feast now.
Thoughts. Insights. Action 