Posted today, Written March 31, 2017

 

Sometimes looking back helps you see how far you have come. This day, last year, I walked out teary eyed, broken hearted from my first real love. My work place for much of my life. I had got time for separation, rational and all, but it broke my heart nonetheless. It seemed like a phase had ended. Not really knowing what had begun. Little did I know all this was in store for me. Life had opened the keys to Alice’s secret door for me. Shrunk me a bit only so that I could pass through to another space. I could ramble endlessly about what this journey has revealed to me about me, my perspective on the world and on my little patch in this universe.

It has been a life changing year, if there is anything like that.  Here’s my list of yellow sticky notes, I would like to hold below the many magnets of my memories of this year.

1. Task, Task, Task. What is the task at hand? Hang on to primary task like your life depends on it. Because it does.
2. Odd jobs and errands, administrative tasks around the house help being grounded to your human reality, give your brain some airing time. Too much optimization in life is not a good thing for your wholesome development.  Give yourself time to goof, hang loose, do different things that give you a rush. Errands and adrenalin are both essential.
3. Conversations are real when people connect. You need to keep the horizons of your understanding broad so that you can connect with people rather than bumping them off from your narrow reflector of your like and dislikes. Take time to develop your own opinions and state them.
4. You grow only when you take risks.  You learn the most when you put your most precious at risk. I am quite selfish. I am my most precious 🙂 Be kind to yourself when you hurt.
5. The only certainty is the experience. Life is not a clear jigsaw that matches piece for piece into a whole. Its messy. Its unclear. Its changing. The only thing that you can be certain about is what you experience in that moment. Don’t overthink. Don’t carry past into the present. Allow yourself to experience the moment because that is the only thing that is real.
6. Don’t just peep over boundaries. Cross them. Meet people, experiences, yourself who you don’t think are your type. Challenge the notion of this is me, by connecting, by owning, by redeeming.
7. Do not lose your sense of self along with your heart. If you do not respect your own self, you make yourself more and more dependent and attached to the object of your love. Each step, putting yourself lower, object higher.. will only increase distance. So love yourself, always, as much as you love others around you.

What is an anniversary

But a reason to relive

Times that bring a sigh

A tear to the eye

Joy to the heart

A desire to bring those afar, closer

A clean slate,

A fresh new start, maybe

A heartfelt anniversary

A happy pause

A content closure

I close this financial year, almost with a feeling of coming full circle. Symbolism is never lost on me. Today was sarhul, the adivasi new year. I got my first set of green flowers behind my ear. It is indeed a new beginning.

I have travelled eight countries, developed fond friendships some of which will be deep partnerships, renewed some precious friendships, allowed myself to experience domesticity, while allowing myself to fly free and discover.

More than anything else, I transition this year with a renewed faith in destiny and a deeper resolve in my trust in mine. Gratitude.